A Bucket-o-Beer, a Shopping Cart, and Some Drunken Fun
by Laxatiff
Friday, June 7, 2002
10:34 AM
UCD Computer Lab
Wow, big Hi-5's to us all for posting so much!! Awesome. Reading these here blogs is one of the highlights of my day (the other being my iced mocha every morning. I think I'm getting a little too addicted to coffee here folks. My hands start to shake when I don't get my morning fix. I take it that's not a good sign). I do think we need to hear a little more from the Regan and Jeff camp. Has Jeff even seen this site? Where are the rest of the guys? Cmon people, let's share.
People have been requesting stories from my party last weekend, but sadly enough nothing major happened. I'm still quite bummed at my lack of drunkenness from that night. Stupid jello shots. Normally they can push me over the edge. But this time they weren't so potent. Either that or I'm just a frikkin alcoholic. But a few days after the party, I was getting rid of the remaining beer in the keg with my roommate Veronique (owner of the devil dog Diogi) and we couldn't just open the spout on the tap and let it flow onto the dirt in the backyard (because one-it would leave the backyard reeking of stale beer and two- beer attracts snails. Thanks to my Bio-teaching roommate Mona for that fun fact) . So Veronique had the idea of putting it all in this big ass bucket we had lying around the apartment and then dumping it out front. After lots of beer foamage, we finally got to the beer itself and filled it on up (what a waste of perfectly good Coors Light by the way, I was saddened to see it all go, but I couldn't drink it (trust me, I tried) because it was all warm and nasty from being in the sun all day). So we have this huge ass bucket of beer (this is one of those times I wish I had a digital camera so I could have taken a picture of the bucket o beer and posted it) sitting in the backyard and I look to Diogi and think, "How great would that be if I just threw little Diogi into the bucket." and I told Veronique this, and she gets pissed and calls me a bitch. Mona and I were laughing just because it would have been the best use of stale beer ever. But the idea didn't fly so well with Veronique. Oh well. Ok I know that wasn't the best story, but I just thought it was funny myself. I love thinking of ways to torture this damn dog. No love for the D.O.G. No love.
Ok maybe this next story will amuse you...
So I was having some drinks at a teammate's friend's place last Thursday and we decided to walk from his apartment to the bars. It was quite a walk, but when you're drunk, distance is no issue. We're walking along, tra-la-la, beers in hand (thank you open container law, which sadly will be gone by next month), when we spot a shopping cart lying around on the sidewalk. Us being drunk and all, the only logical thing to do with the shopping cart is use it as transportation. But this was no ordinary shopping cart from Safeway. This mo-fo was pimped out and had a wonderful cup (or beer, whatever your preference) holder up in the middle of the cart. One can just sit and ride in the cart, not having to hold the bottle and risk beer being spilled upon you. This holder did it all for you. So I hop on in my Safeway chariot and we're making our way up and over the overpass when we see a cop car drive right past us going the opposite direction. Oh crap! So our initial reaction was to run, but mind you I'm still sitting in the cart, only now we're going at like 60 mph on the overpass. So we decided to ditch the cart and toss the beer (which now I look back on and think, why did we toss the beer when we were all 21 and over anyway). We continue walking along, as if we didn't do anything wrong, didn't just steal this cart from Safeway, waiting for the cop to pull over next to us. God I could just hear the jail door slamming shut already. But we're walking, and walking, but no cop. He ended up continuing down the road, in the opposite direction from us, and we were in the clear. Once again I managed to avoid a public drunkenness citation. There is a God.