The Story of the Birthday Boa

Friday, July 12, 2002
2:58 PM
Davis

Hello superfriends. It's almost 3 o'clock and hopefully your asses are still at work sitting at your computer desks, anxiously waiting for my next blog. Or not. Anyhoo, birthday bbq at my house on Saturday night! Decided on the late bbq just because I figured people might have other things going on in the afternoon and I had no preference on having an afternoon or night shindig. So night it is. Sorry for the late notice by the way. The fast-paced life of Davis can sweep you away sometimes. Especially when it's 114 degrees out. god damn it's hotter than a mothereffer up in here.

4 Beers + 2 Blowjobs (shots, you pervs) = :-)

Onto the birthday boa fun (for all you guys that aren't fashionistas like sylvia spade and the vals, a boa is one of those long feather scarf-like accessories). So one of my teammates threw a party at her place last night and I decided to go for some pre-party downtown drinking action. 3 beers later, hello buzz. My friend Ali, notorious for wearing whatever random junk she finds in her closet, decides to bust out the boa for the evening and since it was my birthday and all (well technically 2 hours before my birthday), I got to sport the fabulous long black boa. Be jealous, be very jealous. Everyone else was. We then leave my teammate's house and head for downtown. The clock struck 12 just as I walked through the doorway (and away from the hot bouncer guy who had just wished me a very very happy birthday with a cute wink and a smile. hee hee, this is taft blushing). Up to the bar we go. Another beer. Now I don't know if I was giving off some phermones like no other or if it was the boa, but the boys were coming up left and right. This is a new experience for me here, so of course I'm gonna relish in the moment. My roommate Mona takes my ID to the bartender at one point to try to get a "birthday special" (aka let's weasle our way out of paying for any alcohol tonight) but the guy decides to just give them their tab and me a birthday present: the infamous blowjob shot. Unfortunately I couldn't hold the shot glass with my lips only because the glass was too big, so I was forced to use my pinky to balance it as I took the shot, even though I wasn't supposed to. Blehhh. At this point, yes I'm smashed. Ok time to talk to more boys. Sitting at a table full of Theta Xi guys (not my first choice in frat men, but hey I'll take em) and of course, I end up having to perform yet another blowjob performance for the crowd. Get your minds outta the gutter. Onto the Cantina next door. No more drinking (because taft doesn't like to hug toilets), just dancing, and again, the boys come a runnin. Wow this was some magical boa. An hour of sweaty dancing later, we find ourselves at our usual post-drinking spot, the Jack. As we get closer to the window to pick up our food, two guys from god knows where come running around each of the cars in line. One is wearing a shirt, the other is not and as he ran past my window, I yell out to him, "Why are you still wearing pants?" and sure enough, the pants and boxers went down as he ran away into naked oblivion. No better way to end the night than with a little peepshow. Happy birthday to me.