***IDIOT'S GUIDE TO REGANOLOGY 101***

Yep, you read that right...to those unfamiliar with the term, let's break it down: -ology = the study of; regan- = me! So when you put them together, you get the study of Regan. Don't worry, the "Idiot's" in the title isn't directed at you guys, only some of you (and you know who you are). Guys this is my first lecture, so be easy on me...all constructive criticism is very much appreciated. But since I like most of y'all, I'm posting this here first. And please, I cannot stress it any more, only give the web address to those who you feel are worthy to receive the wrath of Reganology, or in philosophical and academia terms, to be Reganated.

Now back to the lecture at hand (Snoop, "Nuthin' But a G Thang" The Chronic 1992). Sorry to go on a tangent but a ethical writer, such as myself, always quotes his sources. I know some of you may be thinking, "that Regan guy, where does he come up with these off-the-wall ideas?" Truth is, it's yall! Everyone around me inspires me and forces me to use both sides of my brain. Mr. Pan commented over the extended weekend that I have a dictionary of phrases that I use and discard. And while pondering that notion, I asked myself the $69,000 question - "why and how?" And that whats this study is ultimately about. The poet 2 Scoop of the The Doveshack eloquently states "why do we do what we do when we do what we do hanging out late with no curfew?" in one of his timeless pieces. And at 2:30am I'm stringing those ideas together, leading to the first installment of Reganology: Phonetics, which is a branch of Slanguage. Don't waste you're money on Hooked on Phonics when you can get free Hooked on Regan, yall just pay me with your friendship. Right now I'ma present a step by step guide teaching you to speak like me! But please don't expect overnight success, it takes years of practice and development to create these Reganisms:

Step I:Take any ordinary phrase and urbanize it. This may seem hard to do, but its really not. For discussion purposes, let's use the phrase "I will be leaving soon." Multiple options can arise, such as "I'ma bounce right quick" or "I'ma jet in a minute." Let's use the latter example to continue.

Step II:Play word association with the key word. In this case "jet": X-15, New York (football team), James Jett (athlete), "Make it Real" (singing group), black magazine, Navy.

Step III:Use similes or metaphors to link the phrases together. Hyperbole is also recommended in some cases (to be discussed in future chapters). In this case, I'll use the example of the periodical. So the initial phrase of "I will be leaving soon" transforms into "I'ma be a black magazine and Jet in a hot minute." Remember "hot" is the universal adjective; it can describe virtually anything.

Step IV:File word association words not used in your memory bank (if that's the case, I'm like Richie Rich). Save for later. Also, like the pizza boy, DELIVERY is equally important. Keep in mind you want to use these Reganisms sporadically and vary it up, so you'll be like pepper and add flavor.

Step V:Now for the interactive part. Come up with your own Reganisms! And remember, even if you did it, its still a Reganism. If it's too hard for you Mr. Pak to come up with, don't worry about it. The most creative one will receive a yet-to-be-determined prize. Good luck!

Next week's lesson: gametics (take good notes Mr. Luna)

peace,
Professor Regancrates