Monday, July 08, 2002

Dan Pak, a.k.a. Dan the Man, a.k.a. Pakman, a.k.a. 00101101010110 wrote,

As you all may know, I am in the thralls of developing the penultimate video gaming experience ever known to mankind, second only to Mario Party 2. The project has taken on considerable expanses of my human resourses and therefore has limited the availability of my existense to all of you. I apologize for the firewalls that this has created but be rest assured that proxy servers are being set in place allowing me to handle the high levels of bandwidth I soon anticipate. To keep everyone updated on Project Xian (pronounced King Dan) read on. If you wish to skip the introduction on future logins, enter Up, Up, Down, Down, Right, Left, Right, Left, A, A, B, B.

As research for my up-coming video game I have been doing the following....
Playing countless hours of Dungens and Dragons and living off Cheetos (the red-hot firey ones) and Tang (orange flavor). This will enable me to duplicate the user interface encountered while experiencing my game. I have concluded that with this diet, human existense can be sustained for 79 days, which is just enough time to be defeated in the final level of my game. Be rest assured, no one can defeat my game.

My goals within the next three months.......

Goal I: Digitize myself, duplicate that program onto CD-Rs, hand it out to all of you. That way I can limit the amount of actual social contact by means of providing to all of you a "Virtual Dan". Virtual Dan can do everything I can do, including, but not limited to: being Korean, creating DANce fever, instant messaging, hair dying, etc. Virtual Dan, like the me, the real Dan, also has it's limitations. These include, but are not limited to: being Korean, daylight, social interactivity, height.

Goal II: Develop a shrinking machine for Ed and his fire truck. This goal is half complete as I have already tested the machine on myself. Obviously it works, but I have yet to develop the mechanism to return me to normal size.

Goal III: Create a video game that replicates actual sunlight because it has been sometime since I've been out from my cave and seen the real thing. Also my digi-plants need sun.

Goal IV, The Final Fantasy: Take over the world. This has proven more difficult than initially predicted.

As you can see, my plans are quite ambitious and therefore will take considerable megs of time. This eliminates all superfulous dialogue for the next 3 months. Please excuse me from further transcriptions of these infantile "Blogs". I will C(++) you later as I'm now going to make myself a cup of Java(script). Ha. Ha.

Go Koreans,
Dan Pak