THE WEEK THAT WAS
I know I had said that this would be a weekly column, but I could not resist the blogging fever. So, I introduce to all of you.....

THE DAY THAT WAS....August 19, 2002 (Sunday)
1. "IS THAT A HOCKEY STICK IN YOUR POCKET?"...."NAH, I'M JUST HAPPY TO SEE YOU!"
The return of T-lam from Seattle/Vancouver brings a smile to all our faces. But my smile got even bigger when she returns with a hockey stick just for me. The hockey stick is about the length from my knee to my foot, or for you ladies, the length of my...oh wait, this is a RATED G blog page! I'll leave it to you all's imaginations, but keep in mind, I'm a HORSE on the chinese calendar! Anyways, it was prolly one of the best presents I've ever received. I'm thinking about emigrating to Canada...and why not? I already know their national anthem! Thanks times infinity, T-lam! And let me leave you ladies with this. Don't be too surprised if you hear the following quite often from now on:
a) "He shoots and scores!"
b) "Damn Jefe! You sure know how to PUCK!"

2. GEOGRAPHY LESSON
Geography was prolly one of my favorite subjects growing up. I can name every capital of each state (not to brag) and I know the locations of many countries. But, I don't think I have ever gotten a geography lesson as the one I got on Sunday...and the teacher? It was the one and only....drum roll please...Tiff's mom! She's pretty funny. Anyways, in describing the culture of Vancouver and what they did there (mainly eat from what it sounded like), the following dialogue ensued:
Tiff's Mom: "Have you ever been to Australia?"
Me: "No."
Tiff's Mom (wide-eyed and excited): "Well, Vancouver is SOOO much like Australia, but MUCH closer." (nodding her head up and down)
We (tiff, her mom, and I) bust up laughing....It was all in the delivery!

3. WHATCHA GONNA DO...WHEN THEY COME FOR YOU
The Fashion Police (comprised of Phil and surprisingly T-lam) is filmed (or should be filmed) on location.
Dispatcher: "Possible Fashion Casualty"
Location: Macy's Men at Union Square
Mission: Apprehend Jeff's style (or lack of it)
A sunday stroll thru Union Square leads the Fashion Police into the department store.
Captain Tiff (CT): "No! He's picking another of those "Jeff's shirts" from the clearance rack....same colors and tones...that's just HEINOUS AND GOD-AWFUL!"
Sergeant Phil (SP): "OMG...Those are the only shirts he has in his closet!"
CT: "That's PRETTY FREAKING SORRY!"
SP: "Psssh...He's a walking FASHION FAUX-PAH!"
CT: "Quick follow me! Mavi jeans for $18!"
SP: "And a DKNY shirt for $22!"
In the fitting room, the fashion police bring Jefe to the floor and put the jeans and shirt on him.
Jefe: "Wow, I like this a lot!" I love the jeans! My arse feels like it's sticking out!"
CT: "You gotta show more ass from now on."
SP: "Nice look....Mission completed!"
Commercial: "I highly endorse the Fashion Police....they gets results (and save money)!" - Fred McGriff
Fade to black. End of scene.

Today's Count
3: the number of MIXED girls that caught my eye at work today
2: the number of those 3 MIXED girls I worked with today (ironically, the one i didn't work with was in the previous blog of mine)
1: the number of those 3 mixed girls who is a fellow (but younger) wildcat alumni
1: the number of those 3 mixed girls who is finally older than me and not too young

IF I COULD GO BACK IN TIME....
I would want to play in the Little League World Series! The games are awesome...the emotions are priceless. The love for the game is out there...no $ involved. Did you catch the Massachusetts team whose pitcher is 6 feet tall and their 3rd baseman is 4'4" tall (The sequel to Manute and Muggsy)? Don't underestimate the little guy...he was a star!

More to come. But gots to watch wrestling and that NBC "meet my parents" or something like that.
Jefe