Tuesday, August 27, 2002
3:24 PM
Davis, CA 95616
As I sit here in the air-conditioned computer lab at the University of California, Davis (whose name has been tainted by the evil whores of a certain unnamed sorority), after having spent two long hours in my psychology research methods class, I decide to take my acquisition of knowledge into my own hands. I shall conduct my very own research and peruse through the inner workings of the human mind. You all shall be my subjects. So who says the SAT's, GRE's, or MCAT's has to be the end all for measuring intelligence? Not I. What we have here is a little something I like to call the IBSIMUAQ's ("I'm-Bored-So-I-Made-Up-A-Questionnaire"), title still pending. Please use a No. 2 pencil and bubble in all circles darkly. Points will be deducted for misspellings (sorry Nick, put down the liquor) but extra credit will be given if you explain your answers. Extra special credit for creativity and humor. Answers will be posted at the end of the week. Good luck.
Part One: MULTIPLE CHOICE
1) The song that best describes me today is
A. "Complicated" by Avril Lavigne
B. "I Need a Girl" by P.Diddy et al
C. "Boys" by Britney Spears
D. "Still Fly" by Big Tymers
E. "Pass the Courvosier" by Busta Rhymes
F. "Po Folks" by Nappy Roots
G. "Rubber Ducky" by Ernie of Sesame Street
Explain:____________________
2) How many times do you log on to http://the3rdfloor.blogspot.com per day?
A. 2 times
B. 3 or 4 times
C. Too many to admit
D. I keep it open all day and hit the refresh button every 15 minutes
E. What's a blogspot?
Explain:____________________
3) Who is most likely to become a future broadcaster for ESPN’s Sportscenter?
A. Jefe
B. Nick
C. ECP
D. Reeg
E. Val Cachola
Explain:____________________
4) The chances of Taft getting her driver’s license is
A. 1 in 10
B. 50 %
C. the same as Taft getting another nose bleed.
D. the same as Jefe obsessing about another mixed girl.
E. the same as Regan’s pickup lines actually working. On a girl.
F. the same as Phil giving up reality tv shows.
G. Other
Explain:____________________
5) Who is most likely to blog next?
A. Phil, talking about American Idol
B. Jeff, on his latest brush with fame. Or another mixed girl
C. Phil, complaining about work
D. Anup, on jabronis and his harem of women
E. Both A and C
Explain:____________________
6) My favorite 3rd Floor event / activity is
A. Blogging
B. (Day After) Turkey Day Dinner
C. The next softball game
D. Cranium, only if Val C sculpts
E. White elephant, only if a chess set, green gloves, and a mini water fountain are involved
Explain:____________________
Part Two: SHORT ANSWER
7) Where do babies come from?
8) Magic’s Lakers vs. Kobe/Shaq’s Lakers. Discuss.
9) Exactly how jealous are you of my dog Khalua?
10) Deep down, I’ve always wanted to learn how to play lacrosse. Explain.
11) The last person you saw / talked to is now picturing you naked. How do you feel about that?
Part Three: FILL IN THE BLANK
12) The first thing I do when I get out of bed is __________.
13) At 7:15PM, I’m usually __________.
14) The person with the best head of hair is definitely __________.
15) When I grow up, I want to be __________.
16) If we played a game of football, __________ would have the best touchdown dance in the end zone.
Part Four: WORD ASSOCIATION
a) Blog
b) Real world
c) College
d) Alan
e) Steph
f) Vals
g) Dennis
h) Dan
i) Non-bloggers
j) Horse
k) Landon Donovan
k) Alcohol
l) John Mayer
m) North Pole
Part Five: QUICKSTYLE.
Taildaters or Blind Date? Emails or blogs? American Idol or Sorority Life? NorCal or SoCal? Tiff B or Taft? Soccer or softball? NFL or MLB? Red or blue? New Edition or New Kids on the Block? Left or right? Zack Morris or AC Slater? Throw or catch? Sports car or SUV? Joey Gladstone’s "Cut it out" or Uncle Jesse’s "Have Mercy"? Write or type?
Stop here. Do not turn to the next page.
Since I know you all sit at your desks, bored as hell at work, I know you'll probably take this test. So EMAIL me your results (don't blog them) and I'll complile them all together for a fun read. Happy IBSIMUAQ'ing!!
~Taft the researcher